Building self-worth to support student engagement

A guide for families 

What helps children feel confident, capable and motivated to learn? It’s not just about academic ability or getting the right answer.

Self-worth plays an important role in how children see themselves as learners. When students feel they belong, have positive people to look up to and can recognise their own progress, they are more likely to feel confident in their abilities, stay engaged and persevere when learning becomes challenging.

Drawing on research from the Quaglia Institute for School Voice and Aspirations, Academy Principal in Residence Simon O’Brien has considered what the evidence means for families and schools, and how everyday interactions can help build self-worth.

Quaglia’s research highlights 3 important foundations of self-worth:

• Belonging
• Positive role models
• A sense of accomplishment.

Together, these experiences can help children feel seen, inspired and capable. 

The power of belonging

Belonging is the feeling of being a valued and accepted member of a community, while still being able to be yourself. At school, this can influence how children approach learning, their relationships with others and their willingness to participate.

Quaglia’s research links a strong sense of belonging with greater motivation, engagement and wellbeing. It can also support persistence when learning becomes difficult and help children feel more confident in their ability to succeed.

Belonging develops through everyday experiences. Feeling known and supported by teachers and friends, having opportunities to contribute, and being able to be themselves can all help children feel connected to their school community.

Belonging is not a one-size-fits-all experience. What helps one child feel connected may be different for another, and it can change over time. Building belonging, therefore, requires ongoing attention to the individual needs and experiences of students.

What can families do?

Talk with your child about where they feel most comfortable and connected at school. You might ask:

• Who do you enjoy spending time with at school?
• Where do you feel most comfortable?
• Is there somewhere or something at school where you feel you really belong?

If your child is finding it difficult to feel connected, talk with them about what might help and, where appropriate, share their concerns with their teacher or school.

The importance of positive role models

Positive role models can have a powerful influence on how children see themselves and what they believe they can achieve.

Role models do not have to be famous people. They can be teachers, family members, friends, peers or other trusted adults who listen, encourage and believe in them.

Seeing someone they respect practise, make mistakes, persevere and eventually succeed can help children understand that achievement doesn't always happen straight away. Positive role models can demonstrate the behaviours, attitudes and resilience that children can draw on in their own learning.

The most effective role models are often people children can relate to and whose success feels achievable. This is one reason trusted adults and peers can be so influential. 

What can families do?

Ask your child who they admire and what they like about that person. Encourage them to think about qualities such as persistence, kindness, curiosity or courage, rather than focusing only on what someone has achieved.

You can also share your own experiences of learning something new, making mistakes or having to persevere. Showing children that adults don't always get things right the first time can help make persistence feel normal.

Having a sense of accomplishment

A sense of accomplishment is not just about achieving the highest mark or being the best at something. It is about recognising progress, effort, perseverance and contribution.

Children build confidence when they can see what they are capable of – whether that means mastering something new, having another go after getting something wrong, helping someone else or doing something they once found difficult.

Recognising these achievements can help children develop an “I can” mindset and see themselves as capable learners.

High expectations from teachers, parents and peers can also strengthen self-belief and motivation. When children are encouraged to believe that they can succeed, and are supported to work towards that success, they are more likely to persist when learning becomes challenging.

What can families do?

Look beyond the result and help your child notice their progress.

Instead of only asking, “How did you go?”, try questions such as:

• What are you proud of today?
• What did you find difficult, but you kept trying?
• What can you do now that you couldn't do before?
• What did you learn from making a mistake?

Celebrating effort and progress doesn't mean lowering expectations. It helps children understand that learning takes time, practice and persistence.

Small moments can make a big difference

Building self-worth doesn't require a big intervention. It develops through everyday experiences, relationships and conversations that help children feel seen, inspired and capable.

Schools play an important role in creating environments where every student feels valued, supported and able to contribute. Families can reinforce this at home by talking with children about their experiences, recognising their progress and encouraging them to learn from challenges.

When children feel they belong, have positive role models and recognise their own accomplishments, they are better placed to stay engaged, persevere and take ownership of their learning.

Self-worth isn’t a nice-to-have; it is an important part of helping every child see themselves as someone who belongs, someone who can learn and someone who can succeed.